Being a Strong Woman
I would consider myself a strong woman. Resilient most days, I try not to let things get me down, I have a positive outlook on life. I have opinions on a lot of topics and I’m not afraid to share them. I’m ambitious, driven and passionate about my career. I also show my vulnerability, which ironically I consider to be part of my strength.
Now don’t get me wrong, there are days that I cry. Days that imposter syndrome kicks in. Days where I feel like I’m failing, but on the whole I see myself as a strong woman.
Being an opinionated, strong, confident woman in the workplace can be a tricky thing to navigate. Some may be viewed as aggressive, some may be viewed as being difficult.
If you recognise yourself as being a strong woman then I’m talking to you. Don’t ever dim your light.
Click HERE >>> Let your light shine.
This is one of my all time favourite motivational videos. It’s just shy of 4 minutes so well worth a watch.
As I’ve gotten older (and maybe a little wiser) I’ve come to realise there are techniques that you can use to deliver your opinions in a way that people are prepared to receive them and for them to actually be heard (regardless of your gender).
Choose the right communication style i.e. keep your emotions in check. Be mindful of your tone and how you are delivering your views. Be clear on what you want to say, be confident but with that be respectful. If you come across as confrontational (and showing those frustrations) or dismissive (check your body language, eye contact etc) then your voice won’t be heard and this is when labels will start to appear.
Listen, like really listen - “Seek first to understand then be understood” - Habit 5 from Stephen Covey’s “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” will stand you in good stead. Covey states “If you’re like most people, you probably seek first to be understood; you want to get your point across. In doing so, you may ignore the other person completely, pretend that you’re listening, selectively hear only certain parts of the conversation or attentively focus on only the words being said, but miss the meaning entirely. So why does this happen?
Because most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand. You listen to yourself as you prepare in your mind what you are going to say, the questions you are going to ask, etc.”
You don’t have to be the first person in the meeting to speak. You don’t have to fight to get your view heard first. Actively listen, show empathy, show you understand, acknowledge other people’s opinions (even if you disagree) and respond thoughtfully with your points.
3. Back up your opinion with facts - I mean, opinions are all well good, and as I said, I have lots of them, but in the workplace they’re not always particularly helpful if they’re not really based on anything. To be credible you should back them up with facts, data, information, observations. This will only strengthen your position and people will start listening to you.
4. Be Open to discussion - It’s ok to have an opinion or a different view on things. If you encourage open to dialogue and welcome other viewpoints then you will create a culture and a space where it’s ok to share your thoughts. Ask questions, have respectful conversation, and be willing to evolve your own opinions based on new information you receive.
5. Be confident - I think there is a fine line here between appearing aggressive and being confident. If you have actually let your emotions get the better of you then your anger or frustration will undoubtedly come through. You will talk over people, you will raise your voice, you will speak faster. I have first hand experience of seeing this, I have had people sit in front of me and behave like this. I remember one conversation, I sat there as they became more agitated. At the end of the day, they were pushing for something I didn’t actually care too much about, but had they been more composed it would have been a much easier conversation. Remain calm and composed, using firm but respectful language and really believing in what you saying will have you being labelled as confident not aggressive.
6. Choose your moment: You don’t need to share every single opinion you have. Choose your battles wisely and consider the value that you can add to a topic before engaging in the conversation.
7. Find some allies - being a lone voice is always that little bit harder, so if you can surround yourself with like-minded individuals that share your views it will be easier to get your point across.
Remember, being opinionated does not mean being confrontational or disregarding others' ideas. It means contributing your unique thoughts, perspectives, and expertise to foster growth, innovation, and positive change in the workplace. Embrace your ability to voice your opinions and be confident in your contributions.
Diversity of thought is something that more businesses need to embrace. Having different perspectives and ideas leads to a more well rounded conversation and decision making. By expressing your views you contribute to a more inclusive culture that values diverse viewpoints.
You also have an opportunity to inspire others. To be a role model for others who are maybe afraid to speak up. Your willingness to share your thoughts will create an environment that encourages everyone to contribute their ideas and feel valued.